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Bringing you conservative humor and information since before Al Gore invented the Internet.

Wow! Lots of budding comedians out there.  You guys are hilarious.  Thanks for all the captions.  I had to turn the caption posting off before my server crashed!

Thanks again!
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At least YOU still have a job Lieby... I'm stuck pumping gas now!

The result of Democratic stem cell research....

Goorie Those pimples on Opie's face should have been counted as votes for me instead of Andy!

Two sets of identical twins, separated at birth.

We better watch those ballot boxes.

hmmmm,wonder what happened to that box of fraud votes in my car?

Golie Joe. I don't know why they won't give us this election. I always get my way after my fits.

hey gore did you ever think about giving up?

<u> <b>Ah, Shoot looks like i need to get plastic surgery again, loserman

just what we need, another goober in Washington.

I want to be the dumb one!

hey loserman i'll give you a bullet and shoot me now!!!! (we lost)

"And be sure to tell your grandchildren to vote Gore / Lieberman in 2000!"

Andy if you give me my bullets I can Take us both out.

We tolt ya'll. Polatics woodn't change us'n a tall.

SUPPRRRIZZE SUPRIZE SUPRIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZE, WE STILL DIDN'T WIN!

We demand a recount of the Nielson ratings so we can get our show back on the air

Mayberry is safe no longer!

Have it be George W. Bush!

Golly Joe, That Judge sure Bushwacked our vote count'n!!!!!!!

Gomer and Barney - Gormer and Blarney

If you can't beat 'em...JOIN 'EM!!!

Hey Beanieboy...What did you do with those votes we were saving?

Ya kept sayin keep left and we would git to Warshurtun, wel goleee

Joe do you think they know we really don't care about the truth.

Hay Joe do think they know we are stilling this election?

Before and after. This is what being a Democrat can do to you.

I think them two look like they could get away with votin twice....whatcha think?????

You still got that one ballot left in your pocket barney?

Al and Joe posing together a year from now

Andy what we need is for Otis to count the ballots then we will have a full snot full of votes

OK Joe, you tell the Mayberry times it was you who picked up 'Ol George on that DUI!

Barney's last bullet is shot! (through Gomer's foot)at Supreme Court!

Gomer the Goner and Barney the Corny

well barney, i don't think i can fix it!

Hey Joe, lets go get Florida!

"Barney" Lieberman: Like I always say, Gomer, ya gotta nip them overseas ballots in the bud.

GOLLLY , DO YOU REALLY THINK WE COULD LEARN HOW TO DO THE BUTTERFLY BALLET? ER, I MEAN BALLOT!

Separated at birth? hmmmmmmm. or Concede?....Golllllllllleee!

Golly Joe, when do you think Otis and Floyd will be done counting those ballots.

"Joe, go get Otis out of the 'Lock Box' so he can vote."

"Well golly Joey, I thought we was going to get to play sherrif!"

Changing Times

The hospital made a mistake and seperated these two sets of twins at birth.

Hey, Leib, Do you think we can go downta Florida and vote for ourselves 541 times?

Do you think the voting is over Yet?

Barn, go get Deputies Al Sharpton and Jesse, and tell 'em to load their guns!

Hey, I know what, deputy. Let's vote again,for the winner, George W. Bush. We'll all be winners.

Barney, looks like we didn't get elected. Back to busting people and destroying their cars.

"I just appealed to the Florida Supreme Court again.....Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!" Gormer Pyle

"Shaazam I Lost the election"!

What else can ya 'spect from those folks who cain't wait to string up the next James Byrd?

GOLLLEEE Barn, guess those right wing Republican hate mongerers have stolen the election!

"Shaazam I Lost the election"!

Gooolllyy Barn! Now that Americans can vote more than once, Andy has to give you that other bullet.

GOLLLY , DO YOU REALLY THINK WE COULD LEARN HOW TO DO THE BUTTERFLY BALLET? ER, I MEAN BALLOT!

Well GOLLEE, I think we lost?

Joe.. didn't I tell you that wearing a gun was illegal!!!

Well, I'll tell ya Joe, I think we oughta go down and arrest those chads.

Lieb, the economy has lost $1.5 trillion dollars since we started counting pregnant chads?

I swear Mr. Deputy, I know those votin tabulatin deeevices are werkin jest fine!!!!

Hey Barn looks like we are loosing again lets send the supreme court some more briefs.

Mayberrys own Al Gomer Gore,story based on me and my running mate Barney Fife Liberman.

Golieeee...Joey, Should I tell them I invented the butterfly ballot?

Shzzam, Barney

Shazam, Barney! I thought I had invented the ballot box!

Just lock them up, then we will be declared the winners

Well, gollieeee! Do you think if we stand here long enough they'll take pity on us?

golly joe... i went as far as the forfth grade and i tell you i counted all those votes right.

Where's that chad, Joey? Can we take it to the bank now.

Gormer Pyal: Well gee wilikers I hope we win, that would be fun to live in that big white house

Joey, Don't ever call me stupid again

They look strikingly similar...coincidence...i think not

Al:Holy do you think its right us guarding the ballots? Joe:Guarding them? We countin dem.

Help

Do you think that it will ever be over and let George W. Bush have the presidency. I don't know.

You know Aunt Bea? I INVENTED Aunt Bea!

Did they say Bush won?

We should have been pro life all those pregnant chads would have won that election for us.

He's a NUT!

Random genetics, I think not!!

Now remember, just keep saying we won and everything is all right, until they all go away!

Count Votes, Votes Count, Count'em, Voters Count, I'll swear on it with 10,000 Flags behind me!

GOLEE, JOE DO YU THANK THEM REPUBLICANS R U GONNA GIVE UP?

Is there anything you can do with that badge? Use your gun to shoot out the pregnant chads!

Well gooolly Joey, I know Aunt Bea is dead but she intended to vote for me.

Joe, I think we are in trouble. 'Not to worry Al, my cousin Hymel is on the St. Supreme Court.'

Surprise,surprise,surprise, we couldn't fool the American people after all.

Golly Joey they only give you ONE bullet?? I'd demand a Recount!!

Hey Barney.....Can I borrow your bullet?

GEE! WE WON THE POPULAR VOTE BY 300,000 VOTES, AND BUSH SAYS HE HAS WON. GO FIGURE!!!

Please pick the better candidates for public office. (Hint - it's not the two on the right.)

Haay Joe you recon were gonna win that there election.

"Golly! What can we do?" "Reckon I'll just go rustle us some chads and some Democrats counters."

Well Golly Deputy Joe,You better move your hands! Somebody might think your stuffing a ballot box!

Hey !WhatS that in Aunt Beas' purse? Chads?

Hey Lieb, you think we could get in on GW's motercade maintenance/security detail?

GOLLY, THAT OLE INTERNET WAS FUN TO INVENT. yA THINK i SHOULD TAX IT NOW BARNEY?

Gollly Lieb, I invented the Constitution an I's gotta win!

Shucks, I betcha the 'Merican folks are as dumb as we all look! Yes siree!

dont worry loserman, what i said was, i am going to steal an ELECTION

I thought with that fella from Chicago on our side the recount was a done deal.

yer dern tootie i can star on this show, i invented it

Gomer Gore and Barney Lieberman stand guard over the final precinct center re-re-counting their vote

Gall-lee Joe, maybe if I hadn't lied so much, we'd be in this here par-rade.

"Do you have any experience as president, Al?" "You think they'll ask me that?"

You know Joe, I invented the Fed. Supreme court we are sure to get their vote, for a recount.

Surprise Surprise Surprise ! Lets wraper-up Gore-mer I have to get back to the hill.

Well, gol-ll-lee, Joe! Can you arrest them?

Shazzam!! I knew there'd be slim pickins fer work after this mess!!!

"Wheeel, I'll be! I think I just done and shot myself in the foot."

Sauls in 2008!!!!!!!! After Bush's Second Term is up!!!!!!!!!!

I've had enough of this if florida won't count these china will

Well, it looks like G.W. is all soused up again. Ran his pickup right into that tree.

Do you think we can get a re-count in Canada or Mexico? I just know we won an election somewhere.

Al, you let 2 sailors on the SS Cole have 2 bullets each, can I have my bullet?

An't I won yet? got to see more chads

Welllll, gawlllllly, looks like I have to join the Marines for real this time

January 22, 2001: Ladies and gentlemen, the new Chief and Deputy Chief of Los Alamos Security --

Well, ga-awly Lieb, Americer sure is smarter'en we purdicted!

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

-Hey, ya think Dubya'll notice I stole the White House keys? -Well Al, you ARE a pretty good thief

Andy, can you deputize me so I can travel to Florida? I got work to do down there.

Hey Al, Do I look like I just fell off the bread-delivery wagon?

It aint fair, Joe! You still got your job in the Senate and I've got nothing! Wanna trade?

hehehehehehe thats all i gotta say.

SURPRAZ, SURPRAZ, SURPRAZ!

How can we pull off a coup d'etat if you only have one bullet?

looking for a decent JOB

Loser and smiley!

New Security Force!

Lanky and Tweedy!

Hey Barney. Did you know that 10W30 also works well in gluing chads back on?

Hey Joe, did I ever tell ya I invented Mayberry?

Hey Barney, spread the word. "Free set of ball bearings for every vote for me".

All the peoples who voted for Goober meant to vote for me. Lets add those in.

Dumb and Dumber

Isn't that Ted Kennedy sharing a bottle with Otis?

It's not fair that the townsfolk only get to vote once for me. We had better count the votes again.

Aunt B said the horsefly ballot was too confusing. She would like a "do over".

I wounder if the people are as dumb as we are, and actually believe we are going to win..

Hey Barnie do you have any more gum to glue some of these chads back on?

I don't know Joey... they couldn't read and follow the directions, ya really think they can count?

I invented the InterChad

"Cover up Joe, there may be some future interns watching."

Gooolllyy Joe, Supose weah shud concede yet?

Why human cloning should be illegal.

Gore: Hey they airbrushed me right out! Lieb: Just cover up like me!

America's best and brightest. (on the left, of course.)

Lib, Andy says we gotta quit or Mayberry'll be mad . Who'd uh thunk it. I jes don't understand.

Barnie another photo op. Maybe if they see us enough they won't know we are lieing, and cheating.

Golllly, how many dang times do ya reckon we gotta appeal before da judge gives us the election!!

See ya, Gomer! I got one bullet in this here gun and hafta use it in New York on Hillary!

Gaaawly! How many times do we have to count the votes before I win? Are you sure 2+2=4?

My daddy would be proud of my fightin woulnd't he Joe?

Gomer: Isn't that Otis the town drunk? Al: Joe! Take Otis to the polls before he sobers up!!

ya know if ida won, you wouldn't have that gun.

"I accept"

Finally, after 8 years, hollywood can now begin production on the re-make of the Andy Griffith show.

Ya know my grandaddy usta fix them things by spitting in the back and whoppin em on the side....

What was it that Bill said we were supposed to be waiting here for?

Barn, didn't they impersonate the Democratic Pres. Candidates? Weren't good imitating them either!!

Ya know G.W. is going to make us wear thease unies when he's sworn in.

HEH HEH!! I still have the ballot box keys from those republican precincts!

In all honesty, should the two on the left or right win? Left: ø right: 0 That's what I thought

Barney's rumble seat

hey lieb...ya don't need to hide that thang...we all know yer a jew...

Gollllly, Al, Maybe I shouldn't 've gotten in Dubya's face during the debate.

Gore: I swept up over 1,000 chads! Lieberman: Ok lets stick em all in #3

Bill Clinton's new secret service personnel.

I get to be Ambassador to China and you get to be Ambassador to Iraq. Thanks to President Bush.

Guard the ballots with your life while I go and punch some more chads, will ya?

Gawley, lookey at all those ballots we just found!!

Gore: Why Am I Gomer? Lieberman:'Cause his last name reminds America of you.

The Twilight-Zone: An alternate universe where Al & Joe live and are not allowed to lie.

I do declare, Joe, if Otis had been sober when he punched his ballot we might have won!

January 22, 2001: Ladies and gentlemen, the new Chief and Deputy Chief of Los Alamos Security --

One regret......recount.

Ya reckon we orta go a hayed and concede?

Now you know why I wouldn't give up during the election Joe. Hey! Why don't I get a badge?

January 20, 2001, sidewalk of Inaugural Parade

Hey Liebe, doya think Prez Dubya will let us follow the horses in the inaugural parade?

Al Gore at divinity school. I wonder if he flunked those 5 classes copying off of classmate, Gomer?

Singing Left-what Judges did 12/4 No-Al! No-Al!Right-Jingle Bells chads just fell count em all again

Ya reckon we orta go a hayed and concede?

"Well, goll-ee Joe, I thought those were CHADS hanging from my belt!

"Hey, hey Joey, we should have tried this during the debates. Everybody likes Gomer and Barney."

Well Joe, I guess it's back to the fillin station.

DUUUUH, what's votin? Can you cheat like I do with people's money?

losers

Isn't this a kick in the pants ... all that tree-hugging, and now I'm a MECHANIC?!

Clinton's L.A. Contacts Prove Crucial To New Careers Launched By Gore/Lieberman

I didn't really lose the election, I just got reassigned to a position in Mayberry.

We've secretly switched these actors with two politicians. Now let's see if Andy notices.

gosh Barn, i thought for sure that if we cheated we would win!!

Where are they now?

Well, Joe...It's only for 4 years - then we'll try again!

Hey, is that Andy collecting Chads?

Gowwlly Joe, What's a hanging chad?

WILL THE REAL BARNEY FIFE PLEASE STAND UP!

Uh.... I think I left my chad in that guys carb!

GOLLIE! We might be able to count those votes!!!!!!

Now that we knocked off Howard - nobody in the county knows how to count above 7!

I will get my cousin Gober to vote - he will be good for 4 votes(Gober and Judy, Judy, Judy)

Well Joe, it's about that time, you'd better give me the bullet.

I KNOW! I will get Opie to help us count - he has 2 extra toes!

Do you reckon Aunt Bea's vote will count?

IF I can find Ernest T - maybe he can help me THROW the election my way!

How in the heck did I get in North Carolina!(AL) - Tennesee said they don't want you back!(Joe)

I know Cousin Goober wanted to vote for us.

Well Joe, I sure am glad that nice Mr. Bush found us some jobs....

GOOOOOLLLLYYY, LIEBERNEY-- I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST THE WHOLE THING.

Gooollleee,Barney. There goes GW. Citizen's arrest!!!

Why Gooolly, Leiberman you think them there folks will go for this stuff about dimpled chads?

Look! Some guy over there keeps yell'n "citizens arrest" at us!

Well Gee I thought I was suppose to eat the chads What's wrong with that! Duh!

I don't want to face reality yet Joe. What should we do next to draw this out longer?

Hurry up and hide the box - Bush er.. Andy is watching

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

That's not fair! I wanna wear the uniform!

Did you know I invented the Mayberry show, too.

I'll say that the truck broke down and you steal the ballots!

Gorelee, Barney! You think if we make em keep countin' Andy will get tired and let us play sherrif?

Did you get that Chad pregnant?

I think you must have beat Andy this time. Let's find someone who counts as good as us.

We look pretty good in these uniforms we'll be wearing after President Bush takes office.

Local Florida Law Enforcement Volunteer to drive ballots to Tallahasee. Hey!! Wait a minute!

Golly, our wifes are home alone Oh no! Where's Slick Willy.

Would the real democratic candidates, please step forward.

Shocking true identity of Andy Griffith show stars revealed!

Well I don't know fur sure but I think we got skunked

Al Gore and Joe Lieberman behind a cut-out or the scariest spin-off of The Andy Griffith Show?

Has America not seen nothing yet, Joe? Well, they have seen what all Democrats learn, cheating!

Canvasing Board Officials at the Palm Beach County Office, all dressed up and ready to go.

You reckon Aunt Bea can rustle up a mess a' them chads?

for the last time al,i told you i'm not puttin my one bullet in for you to shoot at that bush with

If we can't steal the election, maybe we can hit the bank!

Well Joe, people don't look to smart here in Palm Beach. We can win here.

Gooooollllyyy, I think I see President Bush comin' down the road. We should have Aunt Bea bake him a pie, yeah I know a Chad pie!

Gomer and Barney for President and Vice President

Gore and Lieberman for mechanic and Deputy Sheriff

visitors to the town of Mayberry.