 ENRONOMICS
or HOW TO EXPLAIN ENRON
TO YOUR CHILDREN
using the simple "Two Cows Theory".
 THE
TWO COWS
Here is an explanation of the rules of
the world in simple two-cow terms:
Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one
and give one to your neighbor.
 Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and gives
you some milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government
takes them and sells you the milk.
Big Governmentalism:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, and then pours it down the drain.
GREEDY Corporationism:
You have two cows. You sell one to make the stockholders happy, force
the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops
over dead.
 Republican
Free Market Capitalism: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Retire early. Pass on profits as
inheritance to your children, not big government when you die.
NEW!!
* ENRONism
- You have two cows. You sell three
of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via
an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
When finally discovered, Democrats try to
take advantage of the situation by linking missing cows to
Republicans.
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