|
Home of the original
"Dubya Dance." |
|
T hought you might enjoy this view point that was published by the PrinceGeorge's Journal 2/2/01. Thomas C. Campion lives in Bowie and teaches U.S. History at Martin Luther King Jr. Academic Center in Beltsville, Maryland. ******************************************************************************** Mr. Clinton: Farewell. You haven't left yet? Eight years in office and you will never be gone. You said it yourself in that peculiar farewell stunt you pulled at Andrews Air Force Base on Inauguration Day. How did you phrase it? "Hey, I left the White House, but I'm still here!" followed by that trademark gulping laugh you emit when you're particularly self-satisfied. And that's your legacy, isn't it? Laugh at us all, supporters and critics alike, while you bask in the selfish light of narcissism and self-absorption. Those frequent photographs that capture you with your eyes twinkling and your mouth agape indicate just how much in awe you are of yourself. You're that tenacious, reddish-brown water stain on the ceiling that no amount of paint can eradicate. Congratulations - you have achieved a status that no other president has ever acquired ... or sought. Mr. Clinton, you are the most self-centered, disgraceful person ever to hold the office of president. Your legal entanglements speak volumes about your character. You and your wife can whine about the vast conspiracy that supposedly fabricated charges against you, but everyone knows better. Your huge monetary settlement in the Paula Jones case, the contempt of court fine you paid and the recent payment in connection with your admitted perjury vaporize that clumsy little myth the two of you tried to foist on the public. I found it especially revealing that in the end, when you were frightened into admitting that you are a liar (so as to avoid criminal prosecution), you bravely sent your attorney to face the cameras and give it one last spin. You're not even a brave criminal. You're the unrepentant and cowardly lion, more transparent than the Wizard behind the curtain. A bit harsh, you think? Well, pardon me. Pardon everyone. How did you overlook Charles Manson? Every Democrat and Republican with trace amounts of decency agrees that some of your last-minute, sophomorically theatrical pardons were outrageous. Granting indefensible favors to outlaws who pleasured you is a curious way to assure that your name will appear in history books. Besides, it was so unnecessary. That impeachment thing secured your place in history. Remember? For a big guy with a great swagger, your departure from the White House exposed just what an insecure waif you truly are. Evidently, you were uncertain as to whether you had sufficiently disgraced your office while there, so you and your childish fraternity brothers vandalized the place. While the pornographic messages on answering machines and computers were beautifully Clintonian, and the garbage left in the halls was emblematic of your character, I was more impressed with the drawers you guys glued shut. It made me laugh, sort of a gulping sound. When I heard about the cut phone and computer lines, the damaged keyboards and the stealing of White House property, it made me beam with the pride of a proud American whose president worked tirelessly to diminish himself as much as he did the position he held. I would be remiss in my praise if I did not indirectly congratulate you by admiring your wife for her craven acquisition of free furnishings for your two new houses. That was a real touch of class. Sweet work, Hillary; you really are a junior senator. Just two more things, Billy, and I'll let you get back to planning your next obnoxiously despicable act. I have written to every president since Richard Nixon, and you are the only one without the courtesy or courage to write back. Apparently I did not supplicate your highness in an appropriate fashion. Sorry. For years I have taught my students about the presidents. Ronald Reagan was the oldest to serve, FDR held office the longest and James Madison was our shortest chief executive. You, Mr. Clinton, were our smallest president. |
|
| ||||||